Failure, or regression as I prefer to call it, is good. That may sound counter-intuitive or contradict something you may have learned or even experienced during your life. In fact, you may even feel some aversion to what I've said so far, but wait, there's more! 🙂
Failure is a great teacher
It's true, we don't learn from our successes (mostly). We tend to learn more from our failures. That is to say, our failures cause us to take a moment to think, reflect and perhaps change. Or at least, we'd like it if they did! I'm willing to bet that you're like anyone else; you get upset at yourself when you mess up. I am certain of it because we all do, at least some time or another.
What if there was a way to think of your failures as something entirely different?
Repose and Reconsider
I work with so many people with habits they'd like to be rid of. It never surprises me when someone slips up and regresses. It's what we decide to DO at that moment that counts. Our emotions are key and it's what we feel that makes the difference.
FACT: You don't do anything in your life without feeling something. It's our feelings that define each moment in our lives; good, bad or in-between.
When we make mistakes, and we often do, the moment of decision is at hand. If we decide that our mistakes make us "bad"; then they do. If we decide that our mistakes lead us to learn, then they will. This point become increasingly difficult to describe literally, but the point is that it's these moments when a choice must be made. Either we move on or remain in the emotional whirlpool and become doomed to repeat our mistakes.
If I were a smoker, and I decided to quit, only to make it a few hours and slip up, I have to make a decision:
- Do I let my mistake define me?
- Do I decide to become ___________ (insert the new you here), again?
If I go with choice #2, and I would, I must make that moment count; for all it can! It's at this moment that I can redefine my feelings on the matter of becoming an ex-smoker. It's at this moment that I can empower myself to do better the next time I am tempted or the next time I am stressed out. It's at that moment that I choose.
I must reconsider my purpose, I must repose in that moment and move on. Take that next step of "faith" in myself, in God, or in my decisions to fulfill my desire, my will and my purpose to quit.
More on "re-defining"
It's not enough to quit something. That means nothing to the sub-conscious. Our sub-conscious mind defines our lives in terms of emotion. The emotional content of living surrounds us. Every decision, every moment and every experience is filled with some kind of emotion.
What's it feel like to be an ex-smoker? What's it feel like to be calm? What's it feel like to be healthy or thinner? Our sub-conscious has NO idea what those moments, experiences and lives feel like without defining them with emotion. And PICTURES paint a thousand words...
Imagination is key
Imagine that life; the one you want to be yours. How does that feel? What's it feel like to be an ex-smoker, a calmer, more relaxed person, a thinner, healthier person or a focused, successful person?
Dr. Emile' Coue' taught that our imaginations are the key to everything; and he was/is right!
Even more definite is the doctrine of Aristotle, which taught that "a vivid imagination compels the body to obey it, for it is a natural principle of movement. Imagination, indeed, governs all the forces of sensibility, while the latter, in its turn, controls the beating of the heart, and through it sets in motion all vital functions; thus the entire organism may be rapidly modified. Nevertheless, however vivid the imagination, it cannot change the form of a hand or foot or other member." -Emile' Coue', My Method, Chp. 3.