What is it about the human condition that engenders our failure prone existence? Why do we set goals and expectations, only to fall short or completely, totally and utterly fail to meet them?
Get Over It, Right?
Maybe you've made mistakes and you've beat yourself up over them. We tend to do that when we have come to the conclusion that we're better than "that" (whatever that is). Then, maybe we say, "Get over it and move on!"
Well, get over what, exactly? What is it we need to get over? Is it the mistake or is it how we feel about the mistake?
Feelings: The Heart of the Matter
Any time we set out to make a change in our lives, there's an immediate, internal conflict. That part of us that doesn't want to change. That part of us that likes that bad habit or lifestyle. Intellectually, consciously, we know we need to change. That part of us (the conscious mind) is logical and calculating. For that part of us, the process seems easy; step-by-step measure to change.
But for the other part of us, the inner child (the subconscious), not so much! It is all about the feelings. Maybe it is afraid to make a change or maybe it doesn't know what change can mean...
So, as we begin the process of making changes, that conflict comes into full swing. The internal dialog might go something like this:
"Why can't you just figure this out??"
"What is my PROBLEM!?!"
"Why? Why me?"
"Couldn't I just have so-and-so's problems instead of mine?"
and on and on...
If that sounds familiar, congratulations; you're human!
So, what needs to happen to make the changes we want to make? How do we get "both" parts of our consciousness to work together? Well, how do you feel about the changes you want to make?
You see, any time we want to make a change, we tend to focus on the first part: logic. Sure! It makes sense to us that any change we make must be pretty simple. "Just quit smoking" or "Just stop eating so much and exercise", but that's not all.
It's the emotional context with that change that's missing. That all important component of the human condition. We have to find out what it feels like to change!
The Picture of Success
When we say we want to change, we are speaking riddles to our inner child. Logical steps?? What's that mean?? What it's looking for is how each of these steps feel.
Have I lost you, yet?
I hope not because it's incredibly simple to do. What needs to happen is you need to visualize yourself being successful. What are you wearing? Where are you standing or sitting? Who's there with you? More importantly, how do you feel about what you're seeing/experiencing in this vision?
These are the kinds of things that the subconscious (inner child) understands. You can capitalize on this process on a daily basis. The results will speak for themselves.
Still think this might be bogus?
I can understand that point-of-view but consider this. The most successful people in any industry use this tool all the time. Why?? Because it works!!
You. Can. From a certain point of view, you already have. You see, if you allow yourself to believe and begin to promote that belief that you have already succeeded in your goals, you may surprised that the outcome is just that...you are doing what you said you were doing. You've succeeded.
If you want to quit smoking. Put out your cigarette and say, "I am an ex-smoker". Even if that's only true for another 5 minutes. YOU ARE STILL AN EX-SMOKER. Do it again. Keep doing it. Keep picturing your life as an ex-smoker. What do you do with your time, your hands, your friends and family, your money, everything. What's different and how do you feel about it??
Do it. Right. Now.